Some Feelings

Okay, so about 20 minutes ago, I watched a movie called The Circuit. After the movie I started to realize that I really related to the main character because, like me, her father wasn't a big part of her life. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always thought of my dad as a hero. That is, up until two years ago. I'm not gonna write the whole sob story because it would take up to much room, So, for an overview, let's just say that, if being a dad was a class... he would be failing it badly where I'm concerned. So, back to me figuiring out something after watching the movie. I finally realized why I was truly so mad at my dad for. It wasn't because he wasn't around all the time, or that it seemed that he played favorites with my older brother. It was becasue, for my whole life, he's never seen me. Yeah, he's SEEN me, but he's never truly seen ME. Whenever it was gift time, he would get me something that a "normal" girl would want or maybe a little girl. The thing is, I'm a tomboy, and I'm NOT a little grl anymore. He sees me as the type of girl who loves the color pink, adores designer brands, and gushes over purses. Me, I love the color black, adore band t-shirts, and gush over black or baggy jeans. I've always been who I am, and yet he still hasn't found out that I will never be the "ideal" daughter who enjoys things that I find stupid. Throughout my whole life, he's never truly shone me love or affection or even tried to gain any from me. Every time that I see him, he tries to buy my love and affection by buying me whatever I wanted. Up until recently, I found that I was happy with that, but I've opened my eyes and seen that by buying my love, he's just hurting me more than he's helping me.
-Luna